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save me please..

now then i realized how hurt i actually am by him..
i thought i was ok with everything.
i really thought i was..
cos this few days not much tears have shed,
only that sunday when i was sick..

i only realized how hurt i am after i saw that..
i feel so cheated..
he really makes me feel so cheated..
he makes me feel that all along he has been lying to me..
about everything..

i can't believe i'm in love with him for 1 year+..
i can't believe he is actually still deep inside my heart now..
i can't believe i actually haven't tell my parents about the break up, cos i still held hopes inside my heart that we may patch..
i can't believe i will have tears gushing out from my eyes now..

i hate myself for loving you..

someone...

please save me..

my heart feels like it's tearing apart..
i need a brainwash machine..
to brainwash me off my memories of this relationship..
please close me off from love..

yours truly ;

exhausted..

it was so sudden.
just a sms saying, "come and take your clothes from my house and go vcd shop take back the $30 deposit return me", that's it, the end of a 1 year 3 months+ relationship.
i didn't expected him to suggest it.
well, if that's the way he wants it, then let it be.
i don't like holding on to things i know are not around anymore..

i was supposed to take back my clothes and go take money return home on sunday.
didn't really sleep well on saturday night.
was tossing and turning till don't know what time then fell asleep.
woke up on sunday morning, immediately felt unwell.

smsed him told him i felt tired, he insisted on me going to take clothes and returned him money.
first time i felt that he is very cruel.
complaint to him that he is inconsiderate, he didn't care, said that he wants to settle everything asap.
felt even more unwell cos of this, touched forehead, felt hot, my mum confirmed a fever, next came the feeling of nausea, felt so much like vomitting..
told him i really can't make it anymore,
after long pleading then he said ok..

i know it's not right for me to go out with my ex,
but what about you?
did you understand my tiredness and my stress from itp?
have to wake up at 6.30am everyday, reached school immediately got patients..
always kena old patients who are the most difficult patients..
out of 10 patients i've done, 8 were old please..
when checking the patients, can't even touch my hp..
it's not like i don't want to answer your smses and calls,
i can't.
if i'm caught, immediate demerit points.

checked patients, got some attitude patients, scolded me here and there.
some lecturers very high expectations, kept telling us they are disappointed in our slow speed,
the kind of stress i'm having,
have you ever stand in my shoes?
no..

smsed you during work,
immediately smsed you after work on saturday,
thinking of meeting you,
received no replies for hours..
didn't feel like going home.
just nice he smsed asked whether want to watch movie or not.
he already preparing already, even taking cab down,
what you expect me to do?

anyways..
it's over.
let it be.
it's not like you were affected in anyway.
you still seem so fine,
so totally unaffected by it.
let it be..
-the end-

-------------------

this week itp is at westcoast cc optometry centre..
even more tiring..
have to wake up at 5.40am everyday.
was dragging myself awake today..
have to take bus to interchange, take train to clementi, take another bus to the cc, tiring..

wasn't in any mood today.
got a patient who has the ultimate attitude problem.
80 years old, OLD PATIENT YET AGAIN.
came in, kept scolding me and shi min for nothing.
even Mrs Ling also couldn't stand him..
don't understand why i've to go through so many misfortune recently.
life sucks.
totally.

yours truly ;

hayden christensen! ;D

;D

HELLO!

met up with kai wen today for movie..
cos someone was too busy for me.
well, it was nice catching up with kai wen. ;D

we chatted alot and updated each other about our lives.
it's been long. ;D

we watched jumper. (:

very nice! rating : 4/5. ;D
and hayden christensen is damn shuai please. omg.

*drooling* ;x

and jumpers are so cool! i want to become a jumper too!! can like travel around the world by just teleporting please! can visit all the nice places! omg!!

yours truly ;

valentines' day

today is valentines' day. but so what?
this year valentines' day is just like any other normal day to me, just that it seems a little lonely, seeing couples going out lovingly, with bouquets of flowers and nice pressies on every couples' hands.

today had attachment at SPOC again.
and guess what?
we're supposed to gather at the clinic's sitting area at 3.45pm for a debrief..
and..
this guy came in and passed a bouquet of flowers and a pressie to our receptionist telling her to pass it to..............
SHI HAN!

my lecturers said they have been seeing this guy waiting outside SPOC since like 2-3 hours before 3.45pm la!
imagine how long he has been waiting for shi han!
we figured out that he must have waited too long and has something else he needs to do so he requested the receptionist to help pass to shi han.
he then drove off in his car.
anyway, shan't elaborate more. haha. dont think it's right to do so.

fenni is going out with laoda, ann-marie is going out with alvin, sheena is going out with jansen and look where i'm right now, at home.
well anyways, happy valentines' day babes and hunks!
may all of you have a memorable day with your bf/gf. ;D

yours truly ;

bai nian! shopping! ichiban!

;D

today morning jun ming called to ask whether i want to go with him to his relative's house bai nian and since i got nothing better to do, i went with him.

waited for jun wei, vincent and alice at bishan mrt station to take bus to the house as jun ming's dad drove him there using bike.

luckily it wasn't that boring cos we were using his relative's WII to play tennis, bowling, boxing etc etc.. haha. all of us swung the controllers so hard la. was fun!
but i got laughed at by them cos i dont really know how to play the bowling.

we stayed there till around 5 then jun ming and me went to town to shop for clothes.
jun ming bought 4 tops and i bought a cardigan from cotton on then he also bought 2 tops from topman.
we took 2 photos in the cotton on changing room. ;x

then we went to Ichiban Boshi Japanese Restaurant (Wisma Atria) for dinner. ;D we ordered 2 set meals. (:

one of the set meal

hope everyone is enjoying cny and collecting lots of ang baos! ;D

attachment is starting on monday. ):

yours truly ;

chinese new year!

Happy Chinese New Year! ;D

went to jun ming's grandma's house on cny eve to have reunion dinner.
then on first day of cny went to my grandma's ( mum's side ) house to have a reunion lunch. ;x
both steamboats, ate so much, feel so fat. ;x

anyways, summary of my first day of cny.
went to grandma's house, collect all my ang baos and eat reunion lunch.
then went back home to collect ang baos again. ;x
then slacked till night, went to dhoby ghaut's the cathay to meet up with jun ming, jun wei ( his brother ), vincent and alice ( if you all got constantly read my blog, should know who they are ) to watch my jay's Kung Fu Dunk!

;D

rating : 4/5. nice nice! but hmm.. maybe dont trust my rating cos you know, i will give his everything high scores. hahahaha!

yours truly ;

birthday celebration!

HELLO! ;D

yesterday met up with sheena at around 12pm at orchard mrt station to shop for shu hui's and fenni's birthday pressies.
was supposed to shop for shu hui's only at first but we decided to celebrate fenni's birthday today as well.
so it was a surprise for both shu hui and fenni when fenni thought it was only a surprise for shu hui.

we walked around so much la, till our legs so tired till we finally found their pressies.
we bought a yellow top ( fenni's favourite colour ) from m)phosis and a bracelet from perlini silver for fenni and a purple uber cute top from zara for shu hui!
we also bought this boston chocolate cake from breadtalk for them cos they happened to say they like it. lol.

i like all of their pressies so much please! if you 2 don't want can give me. hahaha. ;x

anyways, after buying the pressies, sheena and me headed to cine pastamania to wait for ann, shu hui and fenni.
we ate our lunch then gave fenni and shuhui their pressies.
then we borrowed a lighter from the pastamania crew to light candles for their cake.
got some pictures of them from sheena's blog!

they posing after the birthday songs. haha.

they making wishes! shu hui wished for me too!! HAHAHAHA.

they cutting the cake!

after that, sheena went off then fenni shuhui ann and me went shopping. all of us bought something except for ann. i bought a top! ;D AM SO BROKE NOW PLEASE.

then we walked to borders to take the interesting wavy escalator. ;x
then we sat them at one bench to play bridge! shuhui and fenni taught ann and me.
and it was like so coincident please! we played 3 rounds and fenni and me were partners for all 3 rounds la! AND GUESS WHAT?! WE WON ALL 3 ROUNDS. ;DDDD
this is fated. hahahahahahahaha.
bridge is so fun! thanks girls for teaching me!

yours truly ;